FBC Missions

I am a woman of action. From age 5, I’m pretty sure I had my whole life planned out. It doesn’t matter that my life has panned out a little differently than I originally planned (I kind of gave up the whole paleontologist thing), but the point is this: I am a control freak. And, it’s chronic. Needless to say I have continued on my control freakish path and even today am learning about letting go, COMPLETELY.

The problems here are huge. Most of the AIDS relief money that comes from other countries is lost in a tangled barbed wire mess of governmental officials and agencies. Little, if any, gets to the people. Thousands of children are left at the dump or on the side of the street with nowhere to go and no one to help them. And, even the children with a parent often live in worse conditions than the orphans. So, me being who I am, I have thought tireless about a plan that would help. But, have been left with this question time and time again: Can I really solve this problem?

I’ve struggled with my desire for control for a long time. But, here in Mozambique, no amount of planning will help the situation. I am not saying that it is helpless here, but just like the problems in the US, they run deep. The Lord has really spoken to me these last few days. I am just one person. But, I have the very essence of my God living in me (1 Cor. 2) and His joy, His strength, His love, His peace, His mercy, His grace and His goodness is enough! As just one person I can still reach the world…one person at a time through a loaf of bread, through a hug, through rocking a baby to sleep (something the orphaned babies rarely get), through holding a hand, through a kind smile and a greeting (a kiss on both cheeks here in Maputo). AIDS is a huge problem, poverty physically hurts my heart, I want to adopt all of the children, but I can’t do it all. How blessed I am to have the Holy Spirit in me…to help me discern where to serve and who to serve and to pour the very essence of Our Savior on those I meet.

And, this lesson is something I can carry with my in the States. Not by my strength, alone. The truth of the matter is, I can serve God most when I am just still before Him. As I lay down all of my inhibitions, my insecurities, my questions, my fears and my plans, I am able to revel in Him and His beauty. I can’t plan a solution to poverty, but I can be still and know that God is God, even if I don’t understand Him. And in that very moment, I feel peace. A peace that transcends understanding and a peace that I hope transpires from my being to those I see on the street, in the orphanages, at my house and at the store. God has control. Why is that so hard to grasp sometimes? Why do I continually re-grasp the reins?

I am learning this week to relinquish my plans, and I have made A TON. I find peace knowing that my God already has control and will direct when He thinks I am ready. Until then, He has said, “Be Still and Know that I Am God.” Be still.

p.s. Because it is unsafe to take cameras out into the city and the orphanages don’t like people taking pictures of the children, we have a limited selection of photos from our day to day lives and it takes a long time to upload…so sorry for the lack of photos…We’ll have plenty to show when we get home!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 11th, 2006 at 12:45 pm and is filed under Mozambique 2006 - Ashley & Brooke. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.